Ted Ketai captures me in full on poseur-face at the SSCXWC 2011 "gears are for losers" race!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Kitten of Flanders Collage
Stage 4 of final edition of AToC (2006-2011); photos of action from Tecate Neutral Service Area...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Linkage to Latest ProCyclingPocalypse 2011
- A Brief History of Cycling Squabbling cyclingnews.com
- Last straw? The letter that launched 1000 blog posts
- the latest "rebel forces" cyclingnews.com
- a rebel's "10-point plan" BBCsport via INRNG. the Inner Ring
- a people's "manifesto"in response Cyclesport Online
- Velonews still hasn't gone further than this
- Oooh. Throw another log on the fire shall we Pat? Velonews.com
- Holy Shit! USA Cycling grows tail, promptly tucks it between its legs, meows softly. Velonews.com
- the non-denial denial
- Boulder Report Op-Ed from Joe Lindsey (bicycling.com)
That's how I'm feeling.
I'll add that @inrng's website http://inrng.com/ is a sage voice of reason when confronted by this rabble that is pro-cycling, and a shining beacon through all the rousing from the hinterwebs.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Meet Alberto Contador's Lawyer
 |
| Andy Ramos Gil de la Haza (from bikeworldnews.com) |
Open Letters (St. Paddy's Day Hangover Special)
This little "nugget" of craziness dropped on the cycling world today and over the course of its audacious breadth I'm surprised the word "troll" wasn't utilized at least once by its author, UCI Supremo Pat McQuaid. With tactics ripped directly from the pages of the Tiger's Blood Tactical Manual of PR Management, Mr. McQuaid wrote an "Open letter to the Riders," wherein he promptly stuck his virtual foot in his virtual mouth, placed his fingers in his ears, and started screaming, "I can't hear you! I'm not listening! I can't hear you!" over and over again.
As others have pointed out, it takes a certain lack of insight to take on one of the fans' most beloved riders in such a pedantic and patronizing way, and I'll let Jens have his ear-piece because of it. One tidbit McQuaid squeezes onto his steaming pile of sophistry warns of an equally dark future for fans of the sport:
Pat McQuaid & his best friend, Johan Bruyneel
This letter has gone viral in the cycling world like a bad rash irritates, or an equally well thought out ode regarding Friday as a day of the week infects. Now don't get me wrong, personally I would like to see a reduction in the use of the radio as a tactical tool in the peloton:
The safety argument is reasonable, especially when one considers a situation like Pedro Horrillo's at the Giro. What seems to be ignored by both sides of this argument is that these issues can be readily addressed with the use of different channels. Let riders have their earpieces and microphones so as to be able to speak with each-other and to their car, all the while listening to safety road condition updates from a neutral feed (could be provided by an ex-pro on a moto ahead of the race). Riders could notify car of a flat, an accident, need for bottles, food, etc. as they do now. They could communicate strategy amongst themselves, and they could warn of safety and/or unforeseen incidents. The riders on the road would be controlling their strategy and adjusting their team tactical situation (for good or bad) all by themselves on the road: Who follows which attack? Who's keeping track of the bib #s in a break? Are their interests threatened? Who should go on the attack? Who should protect who? And so on...
All I want is to see is the immediate coaching from the car diminished... a well run team will know its roles and be prepared for many different scenarios on the fly, like a good jazz band with no need of a conductor. I'm interested to see how some teams respond to having their music notes taken away, because they haven't yet mastered all the tools of the trade. Take the microphone out of the team car...
It's unfortunate that this issue has turned into the only FOR and only AGAINST rope on which the sport's politics currently choose to tug; a solution is readily available that would satisfy race organizers, fans, and TVs' concerns while equally allowing for the advancements in team communication (and safety) that have entered the peloton...
-Me (commenting on Felix Hemsley's Blog "Cycling in the Crowd")
a "tactical tool"
Unfortunately McQuaid's letter most likely closes the door on compromise on this matter, and it seems to me, this is exactly what he wants, as his "Mirror Universe" counterpoint @UCI_Overlord (Not Pat McQuaid) so eloquently satirizes on Flammecast.com.
As others have pointed out, it takes a certain lack of insight to take on one of the fans' most beloved riders in such a pedantic and patronizing way, and I'll let Jens have his ear-piece because of it. One tidbit McQuaid squeezes onto his steaming pile of sophistry warns of an equally dark future for fans of the sport:
UCI is aware of steps being taken to set up a private league, World Cycling Tour, outside UCI, by certain team managers. I wonder will the financial benefits they are chasing benefit you, the riders. Somehow I think not! I quote Johan Bruyneel “I've been laying the framework for something great… But you'll just have to wait and see…”Open-wheeled car racing in the United States has yet to recover from the IRL vs. CART war (Car & Driver). If the UCI and a League of ExtraOrdinary Cyclists go head to head, Beljum Budder will have to formulate a special cream for the reaming us fans will be forced to take.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
"Professional" Cycling
Where to begin... as fans well know, the past few weeks of Pro-Cycling headlines have been dominated by everything (and almost anything) but actual racing action.
1. Bert's ban/Bert's *un* ban (de-ban?)
2. Matt White/Trent Lowe
3. Ummm, Floyd retires
4. Floyd, "J'accuse!"
5. UCI shenanigans: pay to play stickers, radios, Pat McQuaid's pub band, "the Cronies"
6. Underwhelming TdU
7. Sastre/Menchov out of Tour
8. Is it delivery? No, it's Di Luca...Vino, Vidi, Vici, Sella, and so on.
9. ASO vs. UCI
10. J. Fuglsang and A.Schleck are now neighbors! (two wild and crazy guys)
11. Ricco takes idolization of Pantani too literally
12. Lance retires (again)
13. Spanish Cycling Federation (Bert's fan club)
14. Grand Juries
15. And whatever's happened since I started typing away...
It's enough to make a fan all go all "Cat Deeley" on the sport's rowdy ass
I'm exhausted...
1. Bert's ban/Bert's *un* ban (de-ban?)
2. Matt White/Trent Lowe
3. Ummm, Floyd retires
4. Floyd, "J'accuse!"
5. UCI shenanigans: pay to play stickers, radios, Pat McQuaid's pub band, "the Cronies"
6. Underwhelming TdU
7. Sastre/Menchov out of Tour
8. Is it delivery? No, it's Di Luca...Vino, Vidi, Vici, Sella, and so on.
9. ASO vs. UCI
10. J. Fuglsang and A.Schleck are now neighbors! (two wild and crazy guys)
11. Ricco takes idolization of Pantani too literally
12. Lance retires (again)
13. Spanish Cycling Federation (Bert's fan club)
14. Grand Juries
15. And whatever's happened since I started typing away...
It's enough to make a fan all go all "Cat Deeley" on the sport's rowdy ass
I'm exhausted...
Saturday, January 8, 2011
2011 Season Preview (Nick of Time Edition)
Team LEOPARD TREK finally unveiled its remarkably "meh" kit in the most overblown and underachieving press conference since this on January 6th, 2011. The Tour Down under starts January 18th. Here, cycling fans, is my rundown of the major teams that will factor in the upcoming campaigns:
All photos/graphics/logos relating to The Warriors courtesy The Warriors Movie Site
These are the Armies of the Peloton
1.
Garmin Cervelo
SOMMELIER: Johnathon Vaughters (Ajax)
WEAPONS: Everyone... but who's Michel Kreder?
2.
HTC-Highroad
THE BOSS: Bob Stapleton
PHAROAH: Mark "I'm not a fookin' animal, you know..." Cavendish
3.
Team LEOPARD TREK
TEAM MANAGER: Brian Nygaard
WEAPONS: Scarves (thanks to The Pit Walk), Fabian Cancellara, Jens Voigt, Andy Schleck's stomach, hair-gel.
4.
Liquigas-Cannondale
WEAPONS: These (from pezcyclingnews.com)
5.
Omega Pharma-Lotto
WEAPONS: their website, the Pride of Wallonia (thanks to The Service Course)
6.
Saxo Bank Sungard
CAPTAIN of SHIP: Bjarne "everything is fine" Riis
7.
Sky Procycling
WEAPONS: Team bus, doing what every other team does with more pretension , free television
8.
Katusha Team
BOSS: Andre Tchmil
9.
Quickstep Cycling Team
WEAPONS: Tommeke and his his song (via Cycling Fans Anonymous)
10.
Movistar Team
WEAPONS: This dude (who's featured on their their 2011 kit)
11.
Rabobank Cycling Team
ALL THEIR HOPES REST UPON: Robert Gesink, oops, I mean Robert Gesink
12. the Baseball Furies:
Team Radioshack
BOSS:Johan Brunyeel, Lance "On your LEFT!" Armstrong, & this guy
FUTURE DEPENDS ON: Jeff Novitzky, battery sales, who am I kidding?
WEAPONS: Snicker Bars, In & Out Burger, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, Chevrolet, Tiago Machado
TEAM SONG: This
13.
BMC Racing Team
BOSS: Jim Ochowicz
WEAPONS: Cadel "Cuddles" Evans, "Big" George "I had good legs on the Molenberg..." Hincapie, Taylor "not so mini" Phinney, Brent Bookwalter
14.
Euskaltel-Euskadi
TEAM LEADER: Igor Anton (image from Anne Cubberly)
15.
AG2R La Mondiale
WEAPONS: Pantone #19-0192 "Tawny Ultressa", Nicholas Roche
MISSING: Sebastian "Bernard's not related to" Hinault
16. the Gladiators:
Vacansoleil-DCM Pro Cycling Team
WEAPONS: Johnny Hoogerland, Stijn Devolder
17. Satan's Mothers MC:
Pro Team Astana
LEADER: Alexander "blood in my thighs" Vinokourov
18.
Lampre-ISD
WEAPONS: Alessandro Petacchi, Damiano Cunego, Michele Scarpone
19.
HTC-Highroad/Garmin-Cervelo/womens' pro-cycling
WEAPONS: Tough, Mara Abbott, Emma Pooley, Kristen Armstrong, Jeannie "Betty Norris" Longo-Ciprelli, and many, many, many more!
20.
Team Pegasus/Fly V Australia/Geox-TMC
21.
Androni Giocattoli-Serramenti PVC Diquigiovanni/
Acqua & Sapone
All photos/graphics/logos relating to The Warriors courtesy The Warriors Movie Site
These are the Armies of the Peloton
1.
SOMMELIER: Johnathon Vaughters (Ajax)
WEAPONS: Everyone... but who's Michel Kreder?
2.
THE BOSS: Bob Stapleton
PHAROAH: Mark "I'm not a fookin' animal, you know..." Cavendish
3.
TEAM MANAGER: Brian Nygaard
WEAPONS: Scarves (thanks to The Pit Walk), Fabian Cancellara, Jens Voigt, Andy Schleck's stomach, hair-gel.
4.
WEAPONS: These (from pezcyclingnews.com)
5.
WEAPONS: their website, the Pride of Wallonia (thanks to The Service Course)
6.
CAPTAIN of SHIP: Bjarne "everything is fine" Riis
7.
WEAPONS: Team bus, doing what every other team does with more pretension , free television
8.
BOSS: Andre Tchmil
9.
WEAPONS: Tommeke and his his song (via Cycling Fans Anonymous)
10.
WEAPONS: This dude (who's featured on their their 2011 kit)
11.
ALL THEIR HOPES REST UPON: Robert Gesink, oops, I mean Robert Gesink
12. the Baseball Furies:
BOSS:Johan Brunyeel, Lance "On your LEFT!" Armstrong, & this guy
FUTURE DEPENDS ON: Jeff Novitzky, battery sales, who am I kidding?
WEAPONS: Snicker Bars, In & Out Burger, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, Chevrolet, Tiago Machado
TEAM SONG: This
13.
BOSS: Jim Ochowicz
WEAPONS: Cadel "Cuddles" Evans, "Big" George "I had good legs on the Molenberg..." Hincapie, Taylor "not so mini" Phinney, Brent Bookwalter
14.
TEAM LEADER: Igor Anton (image from Anne Cubberly)
15.
WEAPONS: Pantone #19-0192 "Tawny Ultressa", Nicholas Roche
MISSING: Sebastian "Bernard's not related to" Hinault
16. the Gladiators:
WEAPONS: Johnny Hoogerland, Stijn Devolder
17. Satan's Mothers MC:
LEADER: Alexander "blood in my thighs" Vinokourov
18.
WEAPONS: Alessandro Petacchi, Damiano Cunego, Michele Scarpone
19.
WEAPONS: Tough, Mara Abbott, Emma Pooley, Kristen Armstrong, Jeannie "Betty Norris" Longo-Ciprelli, and many, many, many more!
20.
21.
Acqua & Sapone
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Breaking News: 2011 WorldTour Kit Alert
Innerwebs, Anywhere, the World:
Garmin-Cervelo's website crashed today after the entire UK mistakenly linked to its website in the hopes of finding British Sky Television's New Year's marathon broadcast of the entire EastEnders catalogue:
As of this post a cause for the misdirection has yet to be posited by the numerous reputable websites and investigative Twitterazzi that have commented on the confusion, as seen here and here:
2011 Garmin-Cervelo Kit
2010 Team Sky Kit
Through the use of hypothetical and imaginary contacts in the cycling world I've surmised that British Sky Television has planted a graphic-design intern (posing as a Sommelier) inside the vaunted Vaughters' wine-cellar for the purpose of obscuring Bradley Wiggins' team affiliation.
Bradley Wiggins
This ironic obfuscation is for the sole purpose of easing Mr. Wiggins remorse for having left Garmin in the first place (thereby allowing him to subconsciously think he is once again among his old team-mates when in the peloton) and allowing him that psychologically perfect place to go for the podium in the 2011 Tour de France (no stone is left unturned by Team Sky's Dr. Steve Peters). As seen in the sublimely observant ELCYCLISTA's post I'm not the first to notice the similarities:
from ELCYCLISTA 11/29/10
Stay tuned for reports of this
becoming Team Sky's new bus!
Garmin-Cervelo's website crashed today after the entire UK mistakenly linked to its website in the hopes of finding British Sky Television's New Year's marathon broadcast of the entire EastEnders catalogue:
As of this post a cause for the misdirection has yet to be posited by the numerous reputable websites and investigative Twitterazzi that have commented on the confusion, as seen here and here:
2011 Garmin-Cervelo Kit
Through the use of hypothetical and imaginary contacts in the cycling world I've surmised that British Sky Television has planted a graphic-design intern (posing as a Sommelier) inside the vaunted Vaughters' wine-cellar for the purpose of obscuring Bradley Wiggins' team affiliation.
This ironic obfuscation is for the sole purpose of easing Mr. Wiggins remorse for having left Garmin in the first place (thereby allowing him to subconsciously think he is once again among his old team-mates when in the peloton) and allowing him that psychologically perfect place to go for the podium in the 2011 Tour de France (no stone is left unturned by Team Sky's Dr. Steve Peters). As seen in the sublimely observant ELCYCLISTA's post I'm not the first to notice the similarities:
Stay tuned for reports of this
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 Year in Review (Prologue)
Of course re-hashing the past year is the cycling-blog equivalent of taking an extremely short pull, but at least I'm taking one before I get dropped.
First things first... I've been sucked into the Twitterverse (@sfc750) and I'm finding that my perennially adolescent brain finds 140 character capsules of thought ideal. Inside The World of TwitCraft I've found a wonderful community of bicycle racing enthusiasts, fellow travelers, and knowledgeable cycling bloggers from which to constantly peruse (and that's when I'm not captivated by an @GhostfaceKillah rant). As a fan of pro-cycling I've had more interaction with PROs in Twitterville than standing outside a team bus while its raining in downtown San Jose (unless I use my Mother to cut in line). Levi Leipheimer once told me what gearing to use when riding up Kings Ridge (didn't help), Taylor Phinney told me his early season goals, and numerous PROs often tweet about their "sensations" and why they love (insert bicycle product here) so much. Sometimes they will allude to a fine cafe in Lucca, or its equivalent in Belgium. They don't Tweet about Spanish doctors much. Even The Lance often posts about his favorite musicians and movies. It is a never ending Xanadu of bike geekery and it's much easier Twattling along about riding up hills than actually going out and doing so.
Additionally I have succeeded in letting another year pass w/o jumping on the CX bandwagon. It is, of course, much too popular now and I'm having trouble finding a suitably underground cycling activity to suit my *Aesthetic* (as riding a Fixie has long ago "Jumped the Shark" and doing what Danny MacAskill does is simply not possible without computer aided visual trickery). Similarly, in keeping with the Fred Coda, actually racing is incomprehensible.
So in future posts I will be re-hashing what others have written better about the year in cycling 2010 (12AFA). Here's a spritz of whats to come (thanks to MrThehiddencucumber):
First things first... I've been sucked into the Twitterverse (@sfc750) and I'm finding that my perennially adolescent brain finds 140 character capsules of thought ideal. Inside The World of TwitCraft I've found a wonderful community of bicycle racing enthusiasts, fellow travelers, and knowledgeable cycling bloggers from which to constantly peruse (and that's when I'm not captivated by an @GhostfaceKillah rant). As a fan of pro-cycling I've had more interaction with PROs in Twitterville than standing outside a team bus while its raining in downtown San Jose (unless I use my Mother to cut in line). Levi Leipheimer once told me what gearing to use when riding up Kings Ridge (didn't help), Taylor Phinney told me his early season goals, and numerous PROs often tweet about their "sensations" and why they love (insert bicycle product here) so much. Sometimes they will allude to a fine cafe in Lucca, or its equivalent in Belgium. They don't Tweet about Spanish doctors much. Even The Lance often posts about his favorite musicians and movies. It is a never ending Xanadu of bike geekery and it's much easier Twattling along about riding up hills than actually going out and doing so.
Additionally I have succeeded in letting another year pass w/o jumping on the CX bandwagon. It is, of course, much too popular now and I'm having trouble finding a suitably underground cycling activity to suit my *Aesthetic* (as riding a Fixie has long ago "Jumped the Shark" and doing what Danny MacAskill does is simply not possible without computer aided visual trickery). Similarly, in keeping with the Fred Coda, actually racing is incomprehensible.
So in future posts I will be re-hashing what others have written better about the year in cycling 2010 (12AFA). Here's a spritz of whats to come (thanks to MrThehiddencucumber):
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